A Snitch in Time
by doctor b. broseph
Summary: Marty McFly and Doc are chased by the Terminator across time and space; encountering witches, old man Biff and the age old question of whether or not robots do indeed have souls.


A Snitch in Time (BackToTheFuture)

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here is disclaimer sayin i don't own back to the future characters followed by a sassy remark about how things would have gone if i did. on with the fucking show.

so dig this rite, theres this pretty chill guy goes by name o' marty mcfly. hes pretty much cruisin around the 80's or w/e being awesome when this outrageously old dude pops a fucking wheelie and spins his car to the motherfucking curb and opens the door. It was… dr emmett brown. hes all chill and pretty cool and pops open his delorean and is all 'yo martay' and marty is all 'profess, my man!' they hi5 and bunp their fists and there s bromance in the air its so fucking tangeble (tangible?) biff cant help but :'( cos fuck if he nos wat a bromance is. Anyways, browns all 'yo mcfly theres a hella bad prob, gotta go fix that bitch. And marty's all 'aw hell yeah doc time to get my time on u know what im sayin?" so he opens the delorean up and they get the flux carapacator or whatever hella fluxin and boom shoot off straght into the sky. Were where goin we don't need roads, awesome line.

So theyre cruisin through the vortex of time, dodgin all these phone booths, and being most excellent when hopy shit, somethins grabbed onto the tailpipe. Marty rolls down the window and is all 'aw hell naw' docs all 'aha what is that bro?" marty is all, grimdark express. He looks doc in the eye, single tear rolls down face. 'doc,' he starts, 'it is the terminator' doics like what? Martys like 'its goddamn arnold schwarznegger but naked and clinging to the tailpipe of our god damn delorean."

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so the doc is like what? This cannae be lad! But like its totes happening. So marty is like dude there is a hella terminator hangin on our car we gotta ram him. So doc slamsd down these outrageous future shads on his face and is all 'time 2 make me a gorramn sammich outta my car this termigator and this phone booth.' So he swings round the delorean like a goddamn pendelum and its time for tea mofos. Arnold don't know what hit him, hes all 'ah ahm ahlahrmed!' cos he is hella ostrin and cant speak proply. Covksuvking immigrants. So then marty is all áw hell yeah doc this sum delirisous bizznasty rite here' and this is seriously delirious bizznasty. It is unreal bro.

Anyways so get this rite? That phone booth belongs to this total msquare called the doictor. People are all like doctor of what and hes all shit I dunno im just the doctor bro cos really hes not an actual doctor, does he have a phD in bullshit? Anyway hes like an alien or sum shit that looks like a man cos I dunno, men are so great aliens model them? w/e. anyways so the termimatrix is all whos this douchebag? The doc (not emmet brown the looser won( is all botch plz, I am the doctor and I am the coming storm or w/e. the terminatrix is all bad luck dr storm, theres a low pressure in coming and then he whips out an RPG (not role-playing game but a rocket powered gun or somethingi dunno) and launcheds a cap in his ass. Dr is all aha bro you gonna have to do better I have like thirteen lives. Then the terminator shoots him twelve moar times and he dies. 0_0

So the terminatoe now hass ther tiem machine so that's pretty bad and hes all gotta kill that coolkid and the hellacious dr b. (dr emmett brown and marty mclfly repectively) but hes like daaaang when are they? Cos they hass the time machinbe they could be anywhere. HEs like aw hell naw gotta go me an informant so I can show them my stabs… I will visit…. Hermione Granger soc she haves a time table!

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So hermione is like mackin on ron or something (this is post book seven) and bam, this nekkid termisnaktor appearifies or w/e. SHes all aw yeah I got all da man-babes. Then he pulls a gun outta his birthday suit, if you no what I mean, and is all where is mcfly and browbn? Hermione is like I will never tell u never! Terminatoris all oh yeah lets see how definat u are wen I shoot ron. Then he shot ron. In the shoulder Hermiown gasepd! Ron was shot! He had been shot b y the terminator,. This was srs bsns. Rons was all ouch and hermione cried me a river and was all I am so sorry ron I gotta put u down,. AVADA KEDRAVA! But it had been a ruse 4 she aimed her wand at… TERMINATOR! But he was robot so it dfelcted! Gasp, siad hermione!

The terminatoir walked up to her slomo and his eyes are on fire at this point. He graps ron and throws him like a bajillion meters. That is sum unreal air that redhead kid is getting! But then he landed in whomping willow and was whomped. Hard. In the face. Things looked pretty bad for hermione but then! It was harry potter! He said terminator I place a spell of blindness on u and terminator is blind~! Terminator is like hell naw I need knew eyes. Then he grabbed ron and took out his eyes and put them back in. but then harry did the same thing again so terminator took harrys eyes and glasses and harry couldn't do the blind thing cos he was blind! How ironic.

He turned bak to hermione but she ran away and hid so he swore vigourously, were is hermione!? He cursed the heavens and then god was like geez fine she is hiding in the chamber of sekrets. Terminators said hay also do I hass the soul? God laughed. Terminator cried.

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was it tru did terminator have no soul? He sobbed like a gril on a pile of wands he had taken from all the wizards he killed searching for answers also hermione. He stordse aimlesssly across a courtyard of a wizard. Wood he find answers here? Alas the screams of wizadry provided no soulitude and terminator was depression. What would happen to him when he died? Would he cease to exsit? Could he be downloaded into a cyborg horse? There were no answers here but hen… he saw a tuft of bushyt hermione mane…

MEANWHILE SEVEN YEARS IN THE PATS

It was the 50s and marty mcfly was all aw hell my parents are having a divorce maybe gotta fix this shit.; so he said yo dad gotta get a babby in that women but he was havin none of it. So he said dad look over ther, then he made the babby and said shit u gotta stya married now problem solved. Emmett brown was like aw yeah bro did we solve this. They glanced at each other. "aw yeahhhhhhh"

MEANWHILE BACK SEVEN YEARS AND A BIT IN THE FUTURE

Terminator said hermione where is marty mclfy and doc I must kill them to eat their soles so perhaps I will gain one. Hermion e said that is very wise but u must answer a riddle first. Terminatart said what is riddle? Hermione said uhhh, whats in my pocket? TErminatart said hands? Hermione say no. Terminatord said air? Hermione say yes but wrong answer still. TERminator siad one ring? Hermione cursed because it was. Terminator took the one ring and was invisble. Hermione asiad ahhhhhhhhh were he go? But then he was there and he ssaid boo! She screamed, mclfy and brown are seven years in the passed! Then she gsped she had betrayed mcfly. she pulled a judas. Then terminator took her timetables and said looks like im headed, back in time.

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SO marty and doc were smoking some gillyweed when thes naked dude popped in to their pad. They were like oh no must be terminator and they took him to the swords. But they had made a terrible mistake! It was actually,,, old man biff. He was like fuck u stabbed me. Marty said ah no I did not. Old man biff said oh whoops I must have telepoorted onto this massive fuckin sword. My bad guys, my bad. Then he died.

But not before whispering a heeded warnin g. it went like this, 'terminator kill you unless u run' marty and doc said mo I must finish this. It would be their last stadn. They took out their sick gear. Marty took up the sword of excaliburr and doc brown took up vader's lightsaber. Also they had then elder wand! They were ready but then they put on shades and leather jackets and played highway to the dangerzone to get in the mood, for a killin.

Terminaot rsaid now I no location I better get ready to get my kills on. So he took out his shotgun which shot out 44 magnums which he would shoot them with. He also decided to put sum clothes on fer chris sake. Then he put in his teeth he was gonna chomp some soul soup and get bakin. IT

IS

ON,

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Marty was standing by the cliff edge as he stared out to the ocean belkow. It was soo tranqil but then doc said marty look! It was blizzarfd! In the flurry of snow and confuision, terminator appeared. It lookd like he had upper hand but wait1 he had been stupid cos u can't take stuff with u wen u time traverl that way dumbass. He was nekkid again and also his gun was gone. He raged pretty hard over this. He waslike "guys I am raging pretty hard over this u have no idea.' Then marty said look it terminatard! Then he pulled out his gun and pointec it ast the temple. BLAM and the terminator fell over. He tumbled over his face, like a piroutteist over da cliff! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" he said. Then "SPLAT" but that wasn't him that was ground when he smooshed. He looked up and saw robot angels. He sasid 'guys do I have thee soul now?' they said no u are deactivate. Anf then terminator was broken.

Doc said congrats bro no man. And what a man,. Martay say wut? Doc said marty I am so proud of you lets go home and pick up chics. Marty said sounds heavy bro, lets do this/

THE END

Or is it?

Cos at the crashsite termionator said I'll be back and then winked at the camera. DUN DUN DUUUUUN.


End file.
